The Perfect Relationship · 28 days towards love
One small step a day, for 28 days.
For the woman who loves deeply, gives generously and still feels that something is missing. Whether you are still waiting for the right person, or you share your life with someone and yet feel alone, this book takes you by the hand and shows you, day by day, the way back to yourself and to love.
28 days
towards love
If you are reading these lines, you may already know the feeling.
The evening, when the house goes quiet and you are left alone with your thoughts. When you wonder why the love you feel inside is not reflected the same way outside. Why you end yet another day with the same endless discussions. Or why, even though you know exactly what you want, the relationship you dream of seems possible for others, but not for you.
Maybe you have tried talking to your partner. Or waiting. Or hoping that he would change, that better times would come, that “that’s just how all couples are”.
Do you know what I hear most often from the women who come to me?
I realised I no longer desire him. I look at him and he is no longer the man I fell in love with when we met.
And maybe, somewhere deep inside, a small voice is telling you that it doesn’t have to be this way.
Let me tell you something that changed my life: that voice is right. The road to the relationship you want does not begin with him. It begins with you. And it begins with one small step, today.
My story
My relationship with my husband began incredibly beautifully. So full of magic that I imagined I would one day write a book about us.
We met just as I had decided to move to France. Convinced that God would take care of me, I had told myself I would walk through whichever door opened. So when a young man wrote and asked me to come to him, I knew I was in the right place. From the very first moment we spoke, it felt as if we had always known each other and that being together was natural. With every day, our bond felt more and more right.
Marriage came as a natural step. Years later, we had a beautiful family: a good husband, wonderful children, a life many would have envied. From the outside, nothing was missing.
And yet, I was more and more unhappy.
Not because our relationship had the challenges I see in other couples. But because I was carrying emotional baggage I wasn’t even aware of. Old emotions, beliefs about myself and about love, wounds that had nothing to do with the man beside me, yet influenced everything I felt towards him.
It bothered me that he worked so much and was always tired. I had never asked him for money. I wanted him. I missed the two of us, the happy young people who had met and fallen in love. But neither he nor I were happy anymore. We were overwhelmed by family life and could no longer see each other beyond the rush of everyday life.
I blamed my husband for my unhappiness. I wanted him to be different, but it never crossed my mind that he might have wished I were different too. One moment I was angry with him, the next I was grateful he was my husband. It became more and more exhausting. And he stood on the sidelines, waiting for me, which made me even angrier.
I could hardly believe how far we had drifted from the magic of the beginning. And hardest of all, I didn’t understand why.
My path to the perfect relationship
2010 – 2019
I had been in therapy since 2010, always with the intention of having the beautiful relationship I dreamed of. So the shock was all the greater when, after 10 years of therapy, I realised I no longer wanted to be with the man I had loved so much.
In 2018 I launched a 30-day happiness challenge. The mothers who took part wrote to tell me they had started looking at their partners with love and gratitude. It did me good too, but I was only scratching the surface. I didn’t yet know what trapped emotions and limiting beliefs were.
In 2019 I ran the challenge again. The messages I received were just as lovely, but I still didn’t feel I had reached the depths of my being.
January 2020
Although we were on the verge of an important project together, I felt I couldn’t go on. I wanted to break the cycle of arguments, of distance, of the gap between us. I no longer wanted a relationship in which I felt alone. So I told him I wanted us to separate. Because I wanted to love and to be loved.
The fact that he booked a couples counselling session made me believe that, after all, he wanted us to stay together. And when the session was cancelled, in the first week of lockdown, I looked for other resources, to give our relationship a real chance.
2020
That is how I began practising gratitude. To this day it is my first recommendation whenever someone asks me where to start. Then I discovered the tools I still use with my clients: EFT, the Emotion Code, the Belief Code and the Seeds System. Step by step, day after day, small things.
After just a few days of gratitude, I felt the anger, frustration and dissatisfaction calming down. My husband didn’t know what I was doing, but he too felt the atmosphere relax. I remember the day I glanced at him and saw a sparkle in his eyes. The calm in me had already reached him.
I can’t say it was hard. Maybe it wasn’t easy either. But the relationship I had been making difficult and unhappy finally became a truly perfect relationship for me.
After just a few weeks, we watched a comedy together. I heard him laugh the way I hadn’t heard him laugh in years. That’s when I knew our relationship had changed.
Today
We are an ordinary couple. Together with our children, we learn to be better every day. But we love each other, we support each other, we are a team. And Darius, our youngest, the gift his brothers and sisters wished for, was born out of love.
My husband often surprises me by doing exactly what I need, and I surprise him by giving him the space he needs. And sometimes, after 16 years together, the simple presence of the other fills us with love. We are both grateful to be together.
And what I did, anyone can do. I gathered everything I had learned and put into practice into a 28-day journey. That is how the book The Perfect Relationship – 28 days towards love was born. And I tell you with my hand on my heart: it can help you too.
A change of perspective
I know, it may make you angry to hear this. How can the lack of a relationship, or an unhappy one, be created by you, when you want a happy, harmonious, loving relationship so much?
I have been where you are now. But for me, what mattered was the other half of the message. If everything comes from you, then the power is in your hands. You don’t have to wait for him to change. You don’t have to wait for the right person to appear out of nowhere. You can decide today to take a few small daily actions to get where you want to be. Isn’t it freeing that everything depends on you?
Your partner doesn’t need to read this book. When you change the way you feel, think and act, the way you experience the relationship changes too.
Why it hasn’t worked until now
Maybe you have listened to podcasts, watched videos, talked for hours with your friends. You have understood a lot about yourself and about relationships. But understanding alone changes nothing.
Awareness only matters if you take the step of release afterwards. Otherwise, it is just another piece of useless information.
What makes the difference is small steps, taken every day. That is why The Perfect Relationship is not a book you read in one evening and put back on the shelf. It is a book you live. A short chapter a day, a simple exercise, an affirmation you carry in your heart. A workbook you go through, pen in hand.
What you will find in the book
A personal development course condensed into a concrete, easy-to-follow plan, in about 30 minutes a day. Here are some of the tools you will use:
Before day one, you get clear on what the perfect relationship means to you, down to the smallest detail.
The first exercise: every day, 10 reasons to be grateful for your partner or for the people in your life.
A new perspective on reality: how you “plant”, with every gesture, the reality you want.
An extremely simple spiritual healing practice, for everything happening inside you and around you.
You bring them to the surface and use concrete techniques to replace them with beliefs that support you.
How to recognise your partner’s, how to communicate your own, and how to find balance together.
Imagine day 28
You wake up one morning and your first reaction is no longer worry, but gratitude. You notice the good things he does that used to go unnoticed. The discussion that once turned into an argument ends with a hug. And if you are single, you are no longer waiting: you know exactly what you want and you feel ready to recognise the right person when they appear.
How important is this to you?
Everyone has dreams and wishes, but not everyone is willing to take the actions needed to see them come true. Think for a moment about what your life will look like a year from now.
The same discussions. The same distance. The same evenings when you feel alone, even though you are not. Or another year of waiting.
Because time doesn’t heal on its own. Old emotions and beliefs about yourself and about love stay there until you look them in the eye.
A short chapter a day. One exercise. One affirmation. Thirty minutes just for you.
And after 28 days, a relationship seen through new eyes: more gratitude, fewer arguments, more love, starting with love for yourself.
And you are not the only one who pays the price. Your partner feels it too, and so do your children, who grow up needing to learn from you what love means.
My children could not have enjoyed the family life we have now if I had not taken full responsibility for my relationship.
Now tell me: what would you be willing to do, every day, to make your dream come true? If you had a concrete plan, with simple actions for each day, would you follow it?
The decision is entirely yours. I promise it won’t take you more than 30 minutes a day to read the chapter and do the exercise. So little, compared with everything you can gain.
Choose your edition
The book is read pen in hand, with a notebook or with the workbook beside you.
★ Readers’ choice
What readers say
“Yes, but…”
One chapter a day and a small exercise: about 30 minutes. And if one day you can’t manage it, that’s fine. You decide the pace that suits you. And who says you have to stop after 28 days?
Your partner doesn’t need to read this book. Everything begins with you: when you change the way you feel, think and act, the way you experience the relationship changes too.
Yes. The book helps you get clear on what you truly want, release the beliefs that keep love away and come back to yourself. Whether you want to find, keep or transform the relationship of your dreams, the path begins with you.
Because understanding alone changes nothing. The Perfect Relationship is read pen in hand: the daily exercises are what turn reading into change.
Read the book anyway. Simply becoming aware of these ideas starts to change the way you see your relationship. But the real transformation comes from the exercises, and each one takes only a few minutes.
I wrote the book for women, because I have seen how much a relationship can change when a woman makes small adjustments in everyday life. A man can find just as much value in it by adapting the reading.
The workbook brings together, in an organised way, all the daily actions, all the book and film recommendations and all the affirmations. You can buy the book without the workbook, because the exercises are described in each chapter. The workbook is my way of supporting you and making sure you take one step a day towards your perfect relationship.
Read the introduction and the first 6 chapters for free. See whether you resonate with me and with what I offer before you decide.
Still not sure?
This way you can see whether you resonate with me and with what I offer, before deciding whether we continue together.
The choice
It is entirely up to you.
I wrote this book, and every story in it, the way I would speak to you if we were having a coffee or a cup of tea together, talking about you and what you would like to change in your life. I want you to find yourself in it and to feel, at every step, that the power to change your life is in your hands.
Make yourself a cup of tea, open the first chapter, and let’s begin.
With love, Dorela
P.S.
If you have read this far, part of you already knows you deserve more. Listen to it. In 28 days you could be exactly where you are now. Or you could be the woman who chose love, starting with herself.
I am not an exception. My story can be your story too.
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