Day 6 – What is this?

The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.

Albert Einstein

When I concretized the idea of this book, I decided to write a chapter every day, so that I could move forward in the same rhythm as you through all your changes. What I tell you to do every day, I do it too. In the morning I wake up full of joy and grateful for waking up early, knowing that everyone is asleep and I can retire to my corner of peace to make my routine already very dear to me. Through my perseverance, I inspired and motivated my family, friends, people around me, clients, even people I don’t know personally – I mention this because I received messages of gratitude from people I didn’t know before. If my routine contains many elements now, it all started with a first step, that of offering myself 5 minutes a day. The second step was to be consistent, to turn to myself every single day, with patience and warmth, gradually with more and more appreciation, and finally with love. No matter how busy you are at home or at work, you deserve to give yourself 5 minutes a day.

Today we will talk about regaining your power back. In order to change the beliefs that have dictated your life so far, we can use various means. I want to encourage you and assure you that there are a variety of ways and tools to succeed and achieve it. Those who have created healing methods for which they have registered their trademark, usually tell the audience that that is the best method that exists and that guarantees success in the various areas covered. 

Although I have tested such methods and I confirm their success, I was curious to discover other healing methods. I found out that some resonate with one type of therapy, others with another. I have seen situations in which a person did not resonate with a therapist, but resonated with another practitioner of the same therapy or technique. I learned that each therapy helps the people that need it. If in the case of health issues we usually go to more doctors to check a diagnosis to receive the best treatment, in the case of emotional healing it is advisable to find the therapists with whom we resonate best and let ourselves be guided in the healing journey. 

If you have tested the benefits of a therapy with someone you did not resonate with, you may have not benefited from the best results of the therapy itself and have concluded that that therapy is not good. You are disillusioned; you had other expectations and lots of testimonials. Disillusion, what a beautiful word! In the workshops of introduction in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) attention is drawn to the words: illusion and disillusion. Dis-illusion, although in other languages ​​it may not be built similarly, in English it has a very interesting game of words. You are illusioning yourself (only I know how many times I have done this in my past), and at some point, the person comes and dis-illusions you. They get you out of your illusion. Let’s consider this example: you delude yourself that your husband will prepare the meal for when you get home. When you open the kitchen door you discover with disappointment that he did not even wash his breakfast dishes, let alone prepare dinner! This is how illusion works: women like to make all kinds of scenarios about everything their partners have to do, they have a complete list of men’s tasks; however, they, the men, do not even know that such a list exists. Women are always dis-illusioned because men do not know all the tasks they have and so they don’t complete them.

I like it when we get into stories, but it’s time to get back to our journey. Please, look for a similar object in your house, hold it in your hand and continue this discussion with me. 

What is this? You certainly answer that “it’s a pencil”. Let’s assume now that you have a pencil in your hand and that a puppy comes to you and you show it this object. What will the puppy do with it?

Do you think it will bite it? Perfect! In this case, do you think this puppy sees this object as a pencil / writing tool?

“No, he certainly doesn’t see it as a pencil; I think he sees it as a chew toy”. Maybe you even have a dog that really enjoys whenever it sees a pen or pencil at its reach.

Do you agree with me that you see a pencil and the puppy sees a chew toy? “Definitely!”

Let’s move on, who’s right? You or the puppy?

“I think we’re both right ?!”

Yes, perfect! You’re both right. You can use the pencil to write, and the puppy can use it as a chew toy. I’m happy that we get along perfectly so far. Let’s see what happens next. 

Suppose now that you put the pencil on the desk, you take the puppy with you and you lock the door. There is no one left in the office, no man, no other animal. At that moment, when the room is empty, what does this object become: a pencil or a chew toy?

I hope I got you thinking here. After some reflection time, you reply: “Well, I don’t think there is one or the other. It’s … nothing”.

Indeed, you are right! It’s nothing! It could be anything, but since no one is in the room, it’s just nothing. This is the concept of the emptiness of things. 

But what happens when you open the door and see the object on the desk again? What does this object become now?

“It becomes a pencil again”.

Perfect, and if instead of you, it is the dog entering the office, what does this object become?

“In this case, it’s a chew toy”.

I like the way our discussion is rolling this morning. I wish to go deeper. What happens to this object if both you and the dog enter the office together, at the same time?

“Well, in this case, the object on the desk becomes both a pencil and a chew toy.”

Can we say that there are two realities that are projected in the room at the same time? It’s not like your reality drives the puppy’s reality out of the office. Am I right?

“You already know you’re right”.

Great. Now we come to the key question: If this pencil becomes a pencil only when you enter the room, then does the pencil come from itself or does it come from you, from your mind?

“Well, if this pencil only becomes a pencil when I enter the room, then it must come from me, from my mind”.

Let’s expand the discussion we just had. The pencil is a symbol. It is the shortcut to learn how to have the life you wish. This pencil helps you take responsibility for what happens in your life. Stop! I’m not telling this so that you blame yourself. Your thinking and beliefs have determined you to make certain choices in life. Don’t blame yourself for the mistakes you have made so far. You will not change anything for the better if you blame yourself for your past choices. You will not make things better, you will not erase the past and you will not make your memories change into something beautiful. Our previous conversation about understanding emptiness is just the first step in taking responsibility. 

Now, I have two pieces of news for you – one good and one less good. Which one do you want to hear first? The bad news is that you are 100% responsible for everything that happens in your life. The good news is that you are 100% responsible for everything that happens in your life. These are beautiful, strong words, but without a deep explanation, you are left with them and the frustration of “but why can’t I get what I want?”

You have just discovered this explanation of emptiness and you already raise your hand to make an objection, which is pertinent, by the way. “Of course I see a pencil, and the puppy sees a toy! Who has ever seen a dog write?!” From now on I encourage you to take your pencil with you everywhere and to remember our talk in every challenging situation.

Let’s make a change in the subject of our discussion now. Look at the pencil, but this time imagine that you are looking at your husband; you can even take a picture of your husband. If you do not have a partner, choose a person you dislike, who makes you mad easily. As you analyze him or her, look carefully at how you feel about this person. What do you think, is there at least one person who doesn’t see him / her like you do? Does this person have in their life someone who loves, appreciates, maybe even admires them? If your perception of this person came from them, then everyone else should see them just like you do. What we see in others comes from us. Anything that bothers us about others has to do with us. Just as a pencil comes from your mind, the qualities of the person in front of you come from you.

I warned you that the journey towards love begins with your own healing. This step is essential and necessary for you to see the transformation of your relationship, so that it becomes as you described it on the first day of your journal.

I have another question about the pencil in your hand. If this pencil comes from you, what happens if you make positive affirmations with the thought of turning it into a $100 bill? Positive affirmations are meant to create the reality that you affirm. I stated that what you see comes from you. Why don’t positive affirmations work? What happens? Why did I show you that what you see in your reality comes from you, when in fact you have no control over your reality? 

Yes, your reality is created by you. The fact that you could not turn the pencil into a bill or a diamond by the power of thought shows you that although reality comes from you, you are forced to perceive this reality as you perceive it now. And the reality you perceive now is forced by something. And that something is a seed in your mind. When you left the pencil in the empty office it became nothing, an infinite potential that will have a label, a meaning only when there is an observer. When you open the office door, for you to see the pencil there is a seed that has been planted in your mind, in the past, that opened and projected a pencil on the screen of your mind. This tiny image in your mind corresponds to the pencil you physically see in front of you.

Just as you are forced to see a pencil because of the mental seeds, in the same way you are forced to perceive the people and things around you, because of the seeds in your mind. The house you live in, the whole city, the person sitting next to you, the husband, the boss, the mother, the friends, they all come from you, from your mind. Even I, writing these lines for you to read them, come from you, from your mind. This book was written because you had the mental seeds to read it .

I really like to think about agriculture when I explain mental seeds. I like to imagine that I have a mental garden that was a mess once. I discovered this term of mental seeds and I began to clean up: plucking weeds, planting seeds, caring for the seeds and admiring the fruit of the planted seeds. The beauty of comparing the mental garden with classical agriculture lies in the ease with which one can explain the basic rules:

1. When you plant a seed you leave it time to grow, you can not take a carrot seed out of the ground, wanting to watch it grow and expect it to continue its development. No matter how many genetic changes a plant undergoes, it will not grow instantly.

2. Mental seeds grow 10000 times faster than agricultural seeds. If from an acorn of a few grams grows an oak of several tons, imagine how a kiss, a smile, a moment of attention can grow. The same goes for a word of reproach, for anger, for a slap, for criticism, envy and much more.

3. Another precious thing learned from agriculture draws your attention to the fact that from a tomato seed you cannot grow a potato. If your partner does something you don’t like, stop criticizing him. If there is something you don’t like, you’ve definitely planted the seed for the fruit you’re collecting.

4. Mental seeds are not just about you, just about your person. What you see about what other people do, is the result of the ripening of the seeds you have planted. When you accept your responsibility at such a level, you will see your life, the life of your loved ones, even the situation of the country in which you live, transforming.

5. In motivational books I have also learned that the things you focus your attention on persist. Going back to your mental garden, when you remember again and again all the negative things, all the criticisms, you replant identical seeds to the original ones, and these seeds behave like weeds – you don’t even need to water them, they expand and find the possibility to multiply even in the most unfavorable conditions.

6. To have a beautiful garden you must always be careful of weeds, plant seeds and care of the flowers that have blossomed.

As a result of our discussion today, without judging or criticizing yourself, look at your beliefs and how you have allowed them to influence your decisions. Starting today, pay attention to what you think, your words and your actions, so that by planting seeds for what you want, your reality will change. Remember when you last behaved rudely with someone, maybe just a thought, something minor. And now you understand why you had that dispute with your partner, seemingly for no reason , because you didn’t do anything wrong to them and you really didn’t understand why, again, you are arguing out of nothing?

Exercises for day 6:

□ Whenever you have the opportunity, repeat the Ho’oponopono mantra:

I LOVE YOU. I’M SORRY. PLEASE, FORGIVE ME. THANK YOU.

□ Take a pencil with you and, throughout the day, hold it in your hand and remember the seeds, whether you have a day full of positive happenings or a day full of challenges.

□ Write at least 10 reasons of gratitude for your partner and / or 10 reasons of gratitude for people with whom you interacted today or in the past.

Reread the intention set on the first day so that you can remember daily what the goal is for these 28 days; visually scroll through the lists of benefits and sufferings.

Challenge of the day:

Think of one of today’s events from the pencil perspective. What was different from your normal reaction in the past? How can you use this new approach in as many experiences as possible throughout the day? Write today’s realization after using the pencil to understand your reality

Recommendation of the day:

About the movie The Lake House (2006) I want to say that it is an impossible love story. It is so beautiful to see how what seems logically impossible becomes possible, when you know that everything comes from you: a love that is beyond time and space.

Statement of the day:

I create my reality with joy